A bi-polar Christmas.

My daughter has referred to Christmas 2012 as our "Bi-polar" Christmas.  Up and down, up and down.   On December 3rd, I should have heard that roller coaster "click, click click" that always proceeds the loop-de-loops.

Ryan jammed his finger at school.  That was it.  A simple injury, nothing more.  Then Jon got sick.  He stopped going to school December 5th, and although we tried, he could never get well enough to return to class.  Then Ryan got sick.  Then Ryan got sick again and landed in the emergency room.  And then things got worse.

Not for my family, but for a family I have never met, I probably never will, but because of my job and connected friends I know more than I should about their pain and their loss.  My daughter is crying and her heart is breaking, not because she lost a close friend but because so many of her friends lost a close friend and she has never experienced this kind of gut wrenching grief from the second row.  It isn't fair.  It isn't right.  It shouldn't have happened to anyone. 

We both sat at Midnight Mass, crying, laughing and praying.  It was a strange hour as so many different emotions swept through our heart.   I kept telling myself to just push through.  We did.  We went home and opened gifts and laughed and experienced the joy that Christ was born, to save us all.

Soon, I hope, I will stop crying long enough to pray about God's will.  I am ready for a come to Jesus with those sitting behind the big desks.