"I'm Gonna Help Someone, Damit!"

I truly hope that God is impressed with my intentions, because most days it seems like intentions are all I have to offer.

Some people I meet are impressed with my choice to serve the community as my profession.  Even my priests and other social workers consider my actual job above and beyond.  But Mother Theresa saw through that facade.  She knew what is missing.

"Without personal sacrifice, the good we do is simply social work."

Personal sacrifice is was separates the saints from the social workers.   It is what moves me from a job to a justification of my existence. 

Mother T., Dorothy Day, Irene Sendler...these are my heros.  They marinated in personal sacrifice, in voluntary poverty.  They lived in chronic insecurity.  They gave their lives completely and wholly, not for a paycheck, but for a faith.  It wasn't easy.  They struggled emotionally and physically.  They were hungry and sad, but their commitment to this way of life never wavered.

I want to throw up my rock-n-roll fingers and scream in unity with their choices.  I want to kneel beside them in prayer and march along side them for justice.  But all I have are intentions.

 I believe and preach service to the poor, sick and imprisoned...while I sit in my cozy chair and watch Seinfeld reruns.  I write and encourage everyone to give away everything that is non-essential...while I remind my husband that my birthday is coming up.  I judge the actions of politicians and the wealthy as they ignore the poor...while I feed my face. What am I really doing to serve those around me?  Not much. Not near enough.

"Shepherd me, oh God, beyond my wants; beyond my fears. From death into Life."