I had said and have heard others say "I would do anything for my children." And I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Would I really do anything for my children? Would I step in front of a bullet?...I hope so. Would I wrestle a bear?...probably. Would I punch another little kid in the face for bullying one of my precious bundles...without a doubt.
Is that everything? No. Of course it isn't. Would I really do ANYTHING for my children? How about change who I am...
I don't really have to change anything at this point in my life. I have a super duper husband whom I love. I have great kids and a job that I enjoy. I am almost 40 and my character development is ready to grab the t.v. remote, sit back with a bag of Doritos and take a sweet afternoon nap.
Uh, whoops. Hang on a second and lets put down the Doritos. Am I willing, really truly willing, to step out of my comfort zone and do something great for my children?
For example:
Am I willing to get up at 5am and go with them to the gym? Am I willing to exercise along side of them, knowing that healthy habits mirrored by their parents are more likely to stick? Am I willing to put down the crap food and pick up the broccoli, knowing that actions speak more loudly than words? Would I do anything for my children?
Am I willing to put down my evening book or shut off the movie I am watching and encourage my family to come together for prayers and time for God. I am ashamed but will admit that my boys nighttime prayers last night were said inbetween episodes of Avatar. I actually said, "Lets say your prayers real quick before your show starts again." Have mercy on my soul.
The answer is no, but I hope it turns to a yes. I want to be a mother who would do anything for her children.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
To Never Be Quiet
I am raising my children to be activists. It didn't start out this way, for a long time I just wanted to find a way for our family to fit in somewhere. Now I know, and am comfortable with, the fact that we just don't fit in. We are a multi-ethnic, multi-cultural family with odd priorities and strange views of the world. It used to bother me but why fight what you are really proud of?
Injustice is so clear to children. They don't have a lot of external responsibilities or burdens, so their vision of the world is not muddled with bills and schedules and prejudices. I trust my children when they see something is wrong that needs to be corrected.
Next week my quiet, unassuming daughter, Jessica, will be attending the PETA rally downtown and I will be driving her there. She has been a vegan and animal rights activist for over a year now and I couldn't be more proud of who she is. She withstands a lot of teasing in our home as we threaten to put pork in her salad, but we are all really impressed with all she has sacrificed. We all know, don't we, that animals suffer horrible abuse just so we can get our $1.00 hamburger? I may be too lazy and stupid to change my ways but I will support my daughter as she tries to change the world and drive her wherever she needs to go to do it.
I am proud when Rachel refuses to take money from parents for tutoring their children. She believes that all children should be able to read and parents shouldn't have to pay for it. A couple times a week she sets time aside to tutor kids in our neighborhood and I am so thankful that she does. She and Jessica both are looking forward to careers that bring justice and hope to those who have neither.
My boys are coming into their own, recognizing that which is unfair and oppressive. They are developing empathy for those around them and a desire to help. My son Jon, who is currently a brown belt in karate and can throw a pretty damaging punch, won't throw it. After a year of bullying and some pretty stressful moments, he hangs on to the fact that hitting is wrong. He forgives and prays and does his best not to hold grudges. And although both my boys are still pretty young, I can't wait to see where their focus lands.
We will never be a silent family, and really, why would we want to be? I am a very proud mother/ wife and very thankful to God for His work in them.
Injustice is so clear to children. They don't have a lot of external responsibilities or burdens, so their vision of the world is not muddled with bills and schedules and prejudices. I trust my children when they see something is wrong that needs to be corrected.
Next week my quiet, unassuming daughter, Jessica, will be attending the PETA rally downtown and I will be driving her there. She has been a vegan and animal rights activist for over a year now and I couldn't be more proud of who she is. She withstands a lot of teasing in our home as we threaten to put pork in her salad, but we are all really impressed with all she has sacrificed. We all know, don't we, that animals suffer horrible abuse just so we can get our $1.00 hamburger? I may be too lazy and stupid to change my ways but I will support my daughter as she tries to change the world and drive her wherever she needs to go to do it.
I am proud when Rachel refuses to take money from parents for tutoring their children. She believes that all children should be able to read and parents shouldn't have to pay for it. A couple times a week she sets time aside to tutor kids in our neighborhood and I am so thankful that she does. She and Jessica both are looking forward to careers that bring justice and hope to those who have neither.
My boys are coming into their own, recognizing that which is unfair and oppressive. They are developing empathy for those around them and a desire to help. My son Jon, who is currently a brown belt in karate and can throw a pretty damaging punch, won't throw it. After a year of bullying and some pretty stressful moments, he hangs on to the fact that hitting is wrong. He forgives and prays and does his best not to hold grudges. And although both my boys are still pretty young, I can't wait to see where their focus lands.
We will never be a silent family, and really, why would we want to be? I am a very proud mother/ wife and very thankful to God for His work in them.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Wow! Do I Suck.
Not gonna lie, it has been a rough two weeks. Physically and emotionally I have been stretched to my limits and, sad to say, I am still not a candidate for sainthood. Apparently adding just a wee bit more to my already full plate of activities and anxieties is enough to push me over the edge and send me on a sinning spree.
Ugh I hate this side of me. The short tempered, demanding, snapping, cranky, gossiping, unforgiving, judgmental, un-compassionate side of me that, a few years ago, used to dominate my personality. Now it usually only makes a brief appearance on really hot days in traffic. But the past two weeks I let the beast loose. I hurt people that I love. I hurt people that were already weak and hurting. I was mean to my friends and to my family. I embarrassed myself. The wake of damage is wide and I am so sorry I can hardly stand it.
I finally called it quits yesterday when I noticed my ever-patient spouse was losing it with me. There are days, and this is one of them, when I am almost convinced that God's mercy is so close I can practically breathe it in.
If you were one of the victims of my misery, words cannot express the regret and sorrow I feel that I made things more difficult for you and caused you pain. I pray that you will forgive me.
Ugh I hate this side of me. The short tempered, demanding, snapping, cranky, gossiping, unforgiving, judgmental, un-compassionate side of me that, a few years ago, used to dominate my personality. Now it usually only makes a brief appearance on really hot days in traffic. But the past two weeks I let the beast loose. I hurt people that I love. I hurt people that were already weak and hurting. I was mean to my friends and to my family. I embarrassed myself. The wake of damage is wide and I am so sorry I can hardly stand it.
I finally called it quits yesterday when I noticed my ever-patient spouse was losing it with me. There are days, and this is one of them, when I am almost convinced that God's mercy is so close I can practically breathe it in.
If you were one of the victims of my misery, words cannot express the regret and sorrow I feel that I made things more difficult for you and caused you pain. I pray that you will forgive me.
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