Wow! Do I Suck.

Not gonna lie, it has been a rough two weeks.  Physically and emotionally I have been stretched to my limits and, sad to say, I am still not a candidate for sainthood.  Apparently adding  just a wee bit more to my already full plate of activities and anxieties is enough to push me over the edge and send me on  a sinning spree.  

Ugh I hate this side of me.  The short tempered, demanding, snapping, cranky, gossiping, unforgiving, judgmental, un-compassionate side of me that, a few years ago, used to dominate my personality.  Now it usually only makes a brief appearance on really hot days in traffic. But the past two weeks I let the beast loose.  I hurt people that I love.  I hurt people that were already weak and hurting.  I was mean to my friends and to my family.  I embarrassed myself.  The wake of damage is wide and I am so sorry I can hardly stand it. 

I finally called it quits yesterday when I noticed my ever-patient spouse was losing it with me.  There are days, and this is one of them, when I am almost convinced that God's mercy is so close I can practically breathe it in. 

If you were one of the victims of my misery, words cannot express the regret and sorrow I feel that I made things more difficult for you and caused you pain.  I pray that you will forgive me.