Monday, March 12, 2012

Social Worker Confessions Part 1- Working with the Naked.

I have been a social worker for 18 years.  In that time, I am sorry to say, I have seen more naked people than most social workers.  I don't know why naked  people surround my professional career. There was no class in college that discussed this specialty but there it is.  Lots and Lots of naked people. 

I will skip over those clients who answered the door in the buff. There are too many to count and I just have no explanation. I will also skip over the naked-mentally-ill, even though I would love to talk about that one guy who wiped his poopy butt on my skirt, it is just unfair.

I will begin with the police raid I accompanied to save two small children who had been, apparently, abandoned by their parents and were alone in their house.  The microwave was on fire after one of the small kids tried to heat up a box of macaroni.  After the crises had passed, I wondered the home and found both mom and dad...booty side up (I actually thank God for this mercy) and passed out on the bed, naked as the day their mama's had 'em.   Yes, they had slept through the fire and the smoke alarm and the police banging down their door.  They slept through 6 strangers storming and stomping through their home and continued to sleep peacefully until the police officer flipped their mattress, knocking them both to the floor.

Ah...good times.

I once found a child molester hiding in a back bedroom in a home full of children.  He had the decency to cover up with a small, decorative pillow.

And how, HOW I ask you??? How could I ever forget HER.  The wheelchair bound matriarch of many dysfunctional generations, who, after becoming so inflamed when her grown son was accused of molestation, miraculously stood up from her chair, lifted her dress and proceeded to flash her beautiful self  to two government officials, one social worker and my retina. May she rest in peace....please. Because this memory of  her is haunting enough.

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