My husband is by no means a bleeding heart social worker like his wife. He is a quiet man who works hard and who doesn't spend his life looking for injustices. Our marriage has been rocky and certainly we have made some pretty miserable mistakes but I am so glad we have hung in there.
I remember vividly the moment I knew I wanted to marry him. We were walking home from the movies one night and stopped at a sidewalk food vendor to grab a hamburger. He ordered three and silently passed one to a homeless guy sitting on the curb. If I had sneezed or blinked I would have missed it completely.
It wasn't the donation that clinched my heart, it was how effortlessly he did it. It was as automatic and as simple as breathing and he never gave it a second thought. I am not sure he even gave it a first thought. Sacrifice defines his life. He gives to his family, to church and to strangers. He gives money, time and compassion and never asks for anything in return. He put aside his own dreams and plans but I have never heard him wish for something he didn't have.
He and I are different. Sacrifice does not come naturally to me. I have to struggle every minute against my selfish nature and more often than not, the selfish side wins. Even with my own family, my own children, I often have to remind myself that they need things. It is embarrassing to admit but there it is.
My husband grew up in poverty and began working when he was 8 years old selling newspapers on the corner. There were times when he went hungry and there were times when there was no money for medicine. I have no doubt that he suffered. I suffered too, though. (see the selfish). My family was not wealthy. I went without some of the material things my friends had. I grew out of these circumstances determined to meet my own needs. He grew out of his circumstances ready to meet the needs of his family and the world around him.
My husband bought three lottery tickets for the 600 million dollar PowerBall that drew last Friday. After the drawing (um, we lost) we chatted briefly about how we would have spent the money. This was the conversation:
Hub: It all would have been spent pretty fast.
Me: Yep.
Hub: Traveling.
Me: Yep
Hub: I would have started with all our family and friends and then moved on from there.
Me: I have no doubt.
Hub: Build schools and hospitals. Feed a bunch of people.
Me: Pretty great plan.
Hub: Then we would have been poor and working again. But that's how it goes.
That is certainly how it should go.
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